Shared Custody - What’s Best for the Children

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Shared Custody - What’s Best for the Children
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Divorce is never an easy time. There are so many decisions to make, and so many people to think of. One of the most critical choices concerns what's best for the children. Kids' needs should come first above everything else.

Let's explore some of the common questions and concerns that arise when it comes to figuring out the best way to share custody of your offspring.

Children Need Both Parents

Regardless of how much time the kids spend with either parent, children need both a mother and a father. Try to focus your end-goal on getting to a shared or joint custody arrangement, so that they can get the best of both worlds.

If you feel like you can't reach a mutual agreement without things heating up, it's a good idea to enlist the help of a good family lawyer. One of the great things about getting an outsider involved is that they are entirely unbiased and will always put the best interests of the children first.

A family lawyer will also guide you when it comes to what the law states so that you can align your agreement accordingly.

Be Flexible

The first plan might not always work out, and that's perfectly alright. Try to keep an open mind from the beginning, so that if some of the arrangements don't work out, you can easily change.

Children of all ages come with their own set of challenges. Younger children might be more attached to one parent, where teenagers might have busy commitments after school that require a lot of running around.

In some families, one parent may be required to spend a certain amount of time away from home for work. This means that the scales might not always be balanced when it comes to spending an equal amount of time with the kids.

If this is the case, be flexible and open to allow the other parent to make up time lost when they have more free time. Don't adopt a mind-set of it not being their time.

Be a Role Model

Let's face it. No-one gets married with divorce in mind. It isn't something you want to do in front of your children and encourage them to do the same one day.

But it happens. So if and when it does, try to be kind and amicable as much as possible with the other parent. Try to model behaviour that shows your children that you're respectable adults and that you always have the kids best interests at heart.

Talk to Your Children

Unfortunately, there's no right or wrong age to sit your children down and talk to them. While younger kids might not have the capacity to understand the details, older children are often intuitive and can read between the lines.

If you can talk to your children and you think they're ready to hear what's going on, try to make sure that they know it has nothing to do with them. Always reassure them of how much they are adored, and that no matter what, both parents love them very much.

Conclusion

Divorce can cause severe psychological damage to children of all ages. So take the time to be open with them as much as possible, listen to them when they want to talk, and most importantly, keep an eye on them.

Watch out for any behaviour that seems out of character. Sometimes kids need some extra time and a few extra hugs, and they are ok. Remember that the choices you make now will affect the rest of your children's lives.

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