What To Do If You're Considering Divorce

No one enters a marriage expecting its swift demise. However, according to the National Survey of Family Growth, more than 20% of marriages collapse in the first year, while 48 % end without reaching the 20-year milestone. As a result, divorces rush onto you like an 18-wheel truck, giving you minimal time to adjust. Thus, you have to react fast to make sure you have a healthy breakup-not a chaotic mess that further exacerbates your heartbreak.

According to McFarling Law Group, you need to have a competent divorce attorney working in your best interests to finalize financial and legal documentation. Thus, here are some steps you need to take to make sure your divorce proceedings yield the best possible result:

1. Get Organized

Throughout the divorce, you'll have to make a string of critical decisions that will have long-term implications for you and your children. Things will tend to run high, especially during the pandemic, and it will be hard to make adjustments on the spot. Thus, you have to organize your financial and legal affairs beforehand. You need to make sure that the negotiations and the resulting settlement will produce favorable results.

Here are some crucial tasks you need to tackle to get organized:

- Collaborate amicably with your spouse and finalize a list of debts and assets.

- Start gathering financial records. These include state tax returns, pay stubs, brokerage account statements, retirement details, brokerage account, credit card and mortgage statements, insurance policies, and other pertinent marital documentations.

- Work out a budget so you can figure out your projected finances after the divorce.

Remember, this is just the organization and discovery phase. You can manage it on your own. However, tapping a financial professional's services will give you an extended picture of your pre-divorce financial portfolio.

2. Cooperate, Communicate And Mediate

The final moments of marriage are plagued with frustration and negativity. These emotions can sneak up unexpectedly and cause you to act erratically and uncharacteristically. Therefore, it's important not to be too hard on yourself. Understand that you can't keep your feelings buried inside. Venting out now and then isn't bad. With time, things will get better.

A report published in Conflict Resolution Quarterly revealed that individuals who are caring toward themselves are better at managing the emotionally tolling aspects of a divorce. Thus, try to find it in your heart to understand that divorce isn't a war. Plus, there are other ways of approaching the situation. 

Research published in the Oxford University Press shows that divorce meditation has a host of benefits, from emotional satisfaction to better child care and spousal relationship. Indeed, divorce mediation could be a better option than dealing with the legal bureaucracy in courtroom sessions. Mustering the courage to resolve things privately can be hard, and can lead to reopening past emotional baggage, especially during rigorous divorce negotiations.

However, if you're not sure you can sit in the same room with your spouse without keeping a straight face, you can consult a psychologist instead. A certified divorce psychologist can help you keep conflict to a bare minimum.

3. Hire A Competent Divorce Attorney

If things are headed to court hearings, you'll need to have a qualified legal professional working in your best interests to walk you through the discovery and financial process.

Here are some questions you need to ask when meeting your divorce attorney for the first time to make sure you have the right person for the job:

- Do you specialize in certain kinds of divorce cases? Is litigation your forte, or are you equally good at tackling collaborative divorce?

- After looking into my case, do you think you can work out an outcome in my favor?

- How do you deal with fees? Do you charge by the hour, or will I have to pay a retainer? Are there additional consultation costs if I need to reach you on the phone or via email?

- Will you consult with someone else on my case? If so, what will be the nature of their involvement?

- Will your fees include court filing charges?

- If we don't take the litigation pathway and instead choose collaborative divorce, what will be our game plan? How will we make appointments with the opposing counsel? Will you recommend a competent mediator, or do I have to find one on my own?

- Do you have any references with whom I can get in touch?

- How much time will you be able to commit to my divorce case? How many divorce cases are you currently handling?

Asking these questions will clear any doubts and confusion you have regarding legal proceedings. It will also ensure that the case is in the hands of a trusted professional.

Final Thoughts

Divorce is a challenging and emotionally stumping ordeal. However, you have to do your best to work out an amicable solution. You have to organize all financial and legal documentation and make sure you have a reputable divorce attorney on your side during divorce trials and negotiations. Taking these steps will give you the best shot at making your post-divorce life financially and legally tolerable.

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